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Not to be confused with Cyclopeans, giant Martian rock snakes, though we can't imagine why you'd get them confused.

Cyclopians are hairy three-armed humanoids from planet Polyphemus and are single-minded as well as single-eyed. Because they are dour, insensitive, unimaginative, and totally lacking in sympathy, not to mention having no heart at all, they are in great demand by the Imperial Galactic Government and others as customs officers, immigration officials and traffic wardens. Their naturally suspicious nature coupled with an innate desire to tear open the suitcases (and bodies) of other beings makes them particularly well suited for the role. They have even invented 4,768 ways of making the phrase, “Good morning, sir” sound like a declaration of war.

Some Cyclopians have formed a protest movement against galactic contact lens manufacturers who refuse to supply single lenses because it’s “unprofitable.”

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