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Grunthos the Flatulent was the Poet Master of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation of his poem “Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning” four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been “disappointed” by the poem’s reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled “My Favorite Bathtime Gurgles” when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leaped straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.

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