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Bugblat

Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts are massive carnivores from the rainforests and deserts of planet Traal, superficially resembling Blurrgs with fur and fangs. They sport Lasero-Zap eyes, Swivel-Shear Teeth, and several dozen tungsten carbide Vast Pain claws forged in the sun furnaces of Zangrijad. While the lasers are arming, their eyes turn red, green, and then a sort of mauvy pink.

Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts are dull and thick-headed, but very compassionate. Before devouring a sapient victim they will demand the victim's name, which is later carved into a memorial crude stone memorial. Lying about one's name will enrage a Beast, as there is nothing that transcends the differences between humanity and Bugblatter Bestiality like an untruth. However, Beasts are so mind-blowingly stupid that they can be easily eluded by closing one's eyes or wrapping a towel around one's head. They think that if you can't see them, they can't see you. If you carve your own name on the memorial before this little disappearing trick, a Beast will probably assume it already ate you in a fit of absentmindedness, as its mind is quite small and frequently absent.

Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts are held by the Imperial Galactic Government to execute criminals for serious offenses such as kidnapping the President. If you are faced with certain unavoidable death at the claws of a Beast, consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

Victims of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast have included Gleb Snardfitz, Bibs Trench, Zeke Fitzberry, Elmo Smith, Brian "Spike" Berkowitz, and Clybert Quackentotter.

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